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The Lost Glow of the Moon

In Sir Daniels poetry on July 24, 2011 at 2:23 am

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THE LOST GLOW OF THE MOON

~ part one ~

1991

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I was 11 years old when you met me

You were driving down my street

You stunned me, grabbed me, kidnapped me

Threw me into the backseat

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SHE held me down while you drove

You both laughed and sang a tune

You had built a prison in your backyard

I lost the glow of the moon..

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You got up close, only inches from my face

Even then you were far from handsome”

Do you remember the first thing I said?

I said: “my parents can’t afford a ransom

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You laughed, said that was not your plan

You said: “From now on you are my slave

You took away my clothes, handcuffed me

You said : “Your first lesson will be how to behave

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1991

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I was only 11 when I learned

How to hide away when you touched me

Your fingers, your breath, the FEEL of you

It was all to much for me

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I begged you to stop, I cried out in pain

I closed my eyes till you were done

You couldn’t have done any more damage

Even if you had used a gun

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You chained the door, left me in the dark

Bleeding, blinded and bitter cold

The next day, you would return

I became someone you controlled

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I knew you would return, so I found A place

I could go you couldn’t reach

I would picture myself with my mother

In a hot-air balloon, on a beach…

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To Be Continued…

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This is the true story of Jaycee Lee Dugard, who was kidnapped at age 11 while walking to school one morning. When she was 13, she would be forced to have her kidnapper’s child and then another three years later. The sad truth is that her kidnapper was on parole the entire time, police would visit his house over 60 times in the 18 years she was held captive and never once go into his backyard where he had built her prison.

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THE LOST GLOW OF THE MOON

~ part two ~

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1993

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I was 13 years old when you asked me

What I thought my life was worth

You took off my handcuffs, brought me a meal

You told me that soon I would give birth

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But I was myself a child, I didn’t know

What giving birth was about

I knew babies came from their mommies

But I didn’t know how they got out

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You said that you would be here for me

But as for a doctor, no way

You told me to watch tv so I could learn

So I watched tv every day

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As the months went by, I put on weight

You knew it every time you would feel me

When I went into labor, the pain was so great

I thought giving birth was what would kill me

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But I made it, I had your baby

Only then did I see the first sign

She smiled at me, my own daughter

I now had somebody that was mine

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As I held her in my arms, nothing else mattered

Just me and this precious child

This jail, these handcuffs, they all melted

The first time my daughter smiled

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1996

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I was 16 and I was pregnant again

We were still locked up in your backyard

But then you build a fence and let us outside

It caught me completely off-guard

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You knew I wouldn’t run and leave my babies

You knew that I would be quiet as a mouse

It was then I learned that you were on probation

And the police would often visit your house

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Had they even once visited the backyard

Even once, regardless of intent

They would have found me and the babies

Living outside in a tent

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But they didn’t, so nothing changed

This is how our life went on for years

Then one day, you brought me the news

That would reduce me to tears

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You said my babies were no longer mine

That they were to call HER mom

You said that I was now their sister

Although I was angry, somehow I stayed calm

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I didn’t have a choice, you made the rules

So I kept quiet, didn’t make a peep

That night in the tent, I held my babies close

As I watched them drift off to sleep

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To Be Continued

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In 1991, Jaycee Lee Dugard was kidnapped by a registered sex offender who out on parole.. in part One she is handcuffed and locked in a room where she is forced to learn about how cruel one man can be. After two years, she becomes pregnant, part Two finds her having two babies by the time she is 17 years old. At this point, the man builds a wall around his backyard and lets her and the children live outside in a tent..

This is the last part of her story… After 18 years, her discovery and then her slow realization on learning how much control one man had over her..

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 THE LOST GLOW OF THE MOON

~ part three ~

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2002

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I was 22 when I was watching

My oldest child try to ride a bike

My thoughts returned to my mother

Does she remember what I look like?

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What is she doing? Does she miss me?

It has been so many years since that day in June

Does she remember that that morning she forgot to kiss me?

Does she still look at the moon?

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I thought what if she is better off without me?

What if I’m not worthy of her love

You made me into nothing more than a possession

Was this a feeling I could ever get rid of?

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Then my daughter asked, “Mom, why are you crying?”

I told her: “baby, it is nothing that should worry you.”

That night as I looked past the clouds at the moon

I wondered if somewhere, my Mom was looking too

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2009

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I was 29 when we had to go with you

On your parole visit, because you had a plan

You had ideas for reforming sexual predators

You claimed yourself a “reformed man”

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They separated us, they asked me questions

But you had expected this, I was prepared

I gave them a false name, told them I loved you

But deep inside they could see I was scared

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I was scared I would fail you, let you down

That when we got home you would say I failed your test

However, things changed when one of them told me

That in another room, you had confessed

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They asked me again to tell them my real name

The one I have not been allowed to say in years

They asked me if I wanted to call my mother

I told them yes, amid all my tears

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I said “Momma, please come and get me

I was only an hour away from her embrace

The dark clouds outside had for the first time lifted

The sun shone brightly on my face

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2012

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I’m 32 as I’m writing you this note

You are sitting in jail for your crime

I will never again have to look at your face

You will steal no more of my time

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My daughters are fine, they love school

Our eldest next month is going to prom

I see nothing of you when I look in their eyes

Instead, I see my own Mom

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I’ve written a book, it’s a bestseller

I’ve sat for interviews on national TV

I’ve put on weight, but not much

If only you could see me

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But you can’t and you never will again

Because in the end, it was I who won

Philip Garrido, you are going to die

A million miles from the sun..

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note: This poem exists because I believe Jaycee’s story is important.   As we know, even the worse history should be taught lest we find outselves repeating it.   I know there are many people, like Jaycee, who have been forced to put up with years of abuse and told that they are no one without their abuser and that is just plain bull..

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Halfway To Heaven

In Sir Daniels poetry on August 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm

H A L F W A Y
T O
H E A V E N

In her dreams she is always with him
Though he has been gone 20 years tomorrow
Her eyes used to sparkle, now they are dim
She drinks each day from a glass of sorrow

She tried to move on but everywhere she turns
She sees people from her life before
If only they knew just how she yearns
To be with her love once more

She never got a chance to say goodbye
That day back in nineteen-eighty seven
She got to the hospital just in time to see him die
He was already half-way to heaven

Year by year has come and gone
She passes her time alone
She keeps no friends, no desire to move on
She never answers her phone

But she went to the library early yesterday
It was something rarely seen
She almost walked by, but something made her stay
And read the computer screen

 

 

 

Someone had left it in a chat-room
And there written for her to see
What must be a joke, she had to assume
For there was no way this could be

My darling Lila, it’s cold outside
But we will be together before tomorrow’s dawn
I wiped your tears when you would cry
Answer me back, Little John

She sat down in the chair and began to type
Without even trying again to understand
A tear would form, but she felt them wiped
As if by an invisible hand

“Ooh John, I’ve missed you so very much
I’ve thought about you every day since then
I cringe at the thought of a strangers touch
I just need to feel you again”

After a moment there appeared
A message like the one before
My darling Lila, what most I’ve feared
Is that you would love me no more

But instead what has happened has broken my heart
When I see the way that you’ve withdrawn
But soon, my love, we no more be apart
Together forever, Little John

What did he mean with what he said?
For a moment her mind drew a blank
Then she remembered he was twenty years dead
And that this was all someones awful prank

“I don’t know who you are or how you know me
Or why you’ve said the things you have said
But I’m leaving now, so if you will excuse me
My Little John’s has been twenty years dead”

The screen went blank, she sat in the chair
Behind the computer booth in the back
When it was closing time they discovered her there
Dead of a heart attack

And there on the screen flashing still
Was a message for someone to stumble upon
My darling Lila, just be still
I’m holding your hand, Little John –

(c) 2007

Rock&ROll Story

In Sir Daniels poetry on August 14, 2010 at 2:35 pm

R O C K
n
R O L L
S T O R Y

 

When Johnny was 10, he got his first guitar
After making a wish on a shooting star
He was lost in the magic of what it could do
He practiced it daily, his dreams grew

When he was sixteen, he formed a band
He wrote his own music, hoped it would be in demand
He tried to get people’s attention but it all seemed in vein
Till he caught the eye of a girl named Mary Jane

Johnny was still dreaming of bigger crowds
He sang his songs, he was lost in the clouds
Mary Jane would always go to his shows
And watch him play from the first couple rows

Although his playing wasn’t that great
Mary Jane said yes when Johnny asked for a date
As they strolled down the beach under moon lit skies
There was love in Mary Jane’s eyes

But Johnny only had his guitar on his mind
To Mary Jane’s love he seemed to be blind
As they got to the ramp where they had parked their cars
Mary Jane looked up and saw shooting stars

“Let’s make a wish”, she said,  Johnny said “sure
I hope by this time next year I’m on a world tour
I want to be playing to a much bigger crowd”
Mary Jane didn’t say her wish out loud

After that night Johnny found success
Mary Jane saw him less and less
His band was noticed, it seemed un real
When they were signed to a record deal

The audiences became larger, the tours far away
People everywhere wanted to hear Johnny play
That night under the stars became to Johnny a distant thought
One that Mary Jane never quite forgot

Johnny missed graduation because he was on tour
Living a life only a rock and roll star could endure
Sex, drugs, rock and roll, all the girls he could want
From California, Texas, Illinois and Vermont

Mary Jane became a teacher, Kindergarten and Head-Start
She never married for she held Johnny in her heart
Her friends worried about her, for she was so sad
One tried fixing her up on a date with her brother, Brad

But Mary Jane would smile and say, “don’t worry about  me”
The only time she cried was when she saw Johnny on tv
He would wind up in the news after yet another drug binge
The look in his eyes made Mary Jane cringe

Then one day driving home from work
Mary Jane’s car started to jerk
She blew a tire, her gas petal got stuck
She spun right into the path of a truck

The impact was fierce, her car went flying
She laid by the side of the road, dieing
She was rushed to the hospital barely alive
The doctors said they didn’t think she would survive

Meanwhile clear on the other coast
A sober Johnny was wondering what he missed most
He was tired of the drugs and the Hollywood scene
He checked himself into rehab, he was six months clean

He thought about his hometown, he wanted to be near
He called his parents for the first time in a year
His Mom was happy to  hear from him, he felt the same
When his Mom said, “You know, Johnny, it sure is a shame..

What happened to Mary Jane, according to the news report
The only thing keeping her alive right now is life support”
Johnny dropped the phone like he had been stabbed with a knife
He realized right then Mary Jane was the thing missing from his life

He had spent all those years searching for fortune and fame
He had missed her love completely, he was to blame
He bought a ticket on the next flight home
He sat by himself, he felt all alone

After his plane landed, he bought a rental car
He started thinking about the night that they wished on a star
He looked out the sunroof, the sky was empty
Except for one little star that he could barely see

“God if your there”, he prayed, “I screwed up real big
I turned down a life of happiness for a bigger gig
Now the one that I love may not survive
Please God, I beg you, keep her alive”

Johnny arrived at the hospital after visiting hours
On his lips was his prayer, in his hand he brought flowers
The nurse stopped him at the desk, but Johnny was stronger
“You can’t go in there,” she said, “That lady won’t last much longer”

But Johnny ignored the nurse and opened the door
He didn’t care what anyone said, no, not anymore
Mary Jane was lying on the bed with an IV in her arm
In the back of his mind, Johnny could hear an alarm

Her face was badly bruised, her eye swollen shut
Her leg was in a cast, her arm badly cut
Yet to see her again, Johnny felt such bliss
He reached over the hospital bed and he gave her a kiss

The monitor behind her started to stall
Outside there was commotion in the hall
He only had a minute, he had to make it worthwhile
When Mary Jane opened one eye, he saw her faintly smile

“I knew you would come” she said, struggling for speech
“That was my wish that night on the beach”
“Mary Jane, I’m sorry”, Johnny managed to say
“I was a fool, I should have never went away

But I’m here to stay, Mary Jane, I will never leave you”
“It’s too late Johnny”, she said, “but I love you too”
At that moment the door opened and three guards rushed in
They grabbed ahold of Johnny, but that was the moment when..

..Mary Jane flat lined, her body went into shock
As they dragged Johnny out, the nurse called for a Doc
When Johnny saw what was happening, he put up a fight
But it was all for nothing, Mary Jane died later that night

They buried her in a simple grave, on her tombstone a falling star
Johnny visits her every night and brings his guitar
He avoids the spotlight, Mary Jane’s death tore him apart
He only plays the blues now, and he plays it from his heart..

 

(c)’08