Dr. Fogg & Sir Daniel presents..

Archive for the ‘Foggy’s articles’ Category

Mittballs

In Foggy's articles on July 28, 2012 at 9:32 am

Mitt Sparks ‘Romneyshambles’ After ‘Disconcerting’ Comments Made About London’s Olympic Effort.

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DR FOGG FOR “BUNGLE NEWS”

 

Mitt Romney manages to insult 60 million Britain’s on a “Good will visit” After insulting our countries preparations for the Olympic Games and then in an attempt to backtrack on his faux pas he told the assembled media men in London that he has spent the afternoon in Downing Streets   “Backside”. Now he may have meant “Back Garden” and be un-aware that backside to us Brits means arse but both these cock-ups are a disturbing indication that this man has the intellectual ability of dear old misunderestimated GW Bush. Perhaps Mr. Romney should examine his own performance regarding his part in organising the 2002 Salt Lake City winter Olympics and the allegations of massive corruption.

Yes WE criticise the Olympic games preparations in London, but it is like a man who insults his wife, saying she is ugly and fat, however if someone else says it, he will  shoot to kill !!!! These minor indiscretions are very worrying when you consider this man intends to become Mr. President. There is no doubt that America has probably the greatest concentration of intelligent people in the world. So why do the republicans continue to select their president from Moonshine country?

May I suggest an alternative?

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Homer for President.

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Vote for Homer an incredible guy

He’ll cut burger prices in the wink of his eye

He’ll have lots of parades and juggle grenades

And his neighbour will shout hi diddly hi.

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Not a hint of corruption

No Olympic disruption.

And he can eat pretzels without even choking

He has an experienced slant in the nuclear plant

(What’s this red button? Hehehee only joking.)

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He’ll take on the job

Of presidential slob

And show that he’s willing and able

But you just gotta know he’s gonna say Doh

If the white house hasn’t got cable.

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By  Dr. Fogg

Things Go Better With Corporate Greed

In Foggy's articles on July 24, 2012 at 1:44 am

 

THINGS GO BETTER WITH CORPORATE GREED

 

 

Pepsi T-Shirts And Nike Trainers ‘Banned’ From London Olympic Games, Admits Lord Coe

  Just Don’t Do It: Lord Coe says Pepsi and probably Nike will be banned from Olympic park

We have apparently reached a new low in the so called freedom we are all supposed to be so proud of. We are to be told what we may or may not wear when attending the London Olympics. Corporate greed has finally ”come out”  Lord Coe chairman of the London Olympic committee has told the press that spectators attending the games wearing Pepsi T shirts and probably Nike trainers, are to be turned away. He defends this decision on the grounds that Coca Cola and Addidas have spent millions in sponsoring the games.

This then must account for the reason the Americans have sent over 500 security staff (From the land of the free) of their own to the games, they are obviously members of the C.I.A (Coke investigating authorities) and will be covertly mingling with the crowds.  Members of the public found to be wearing non regulation attire will be “removed”. A secret source told Dr Fogg’s Bungle news reporter that a new wing has been built at Guantanamo Bay where offenders will be “Processed” A special version of water boarding is to be used renamed Coke boarding.

Well Mr Coe and Mr Coke can get stuffed; Bungle news has reported that sales of Pepsi T shirts are booming in Britain, it looks like the security staff are going to be busy.

Has it really come to this ?

The Death of Justice?

In Foggy's articles on May 5, 2011 at 1:22 am

]The Death of Justice?   

   Ossama Bin Laden.

The death of Ossama Bin laden on the 2nd of may 2011 did not fill me with the pleasure that I thought it would.   Rather it worried me.   Is it truly right that governments should think they can execute people without the due process of law?

 Bin laden was shot,  he was unarmed and could have been captured, but they chose to shoot him.   The part that worries me most is that it would seem that the vast majority of Americans highly approve of this.  Obama’s ratings have soured, even the republicans gave him a standing ovation.

America is or was seen as the champion of human rights, the law, due process, all the values we hold dear in the western world. Throughout their history they have promoted justice.   It would seem 9/11 has changed all that.  It is in fact a bloody tragedy. America has for generations championed the Geneva Convention, it expected the protection it gave, would be extended to its own soldiers in captivity.   If it was not, they branded those who failed to abide by it as heathens, barbarians.   Yet George Bush chose to tear it up.

 I happened to catch a snippet of a program on Fox news the other night where politicians were discussing Bin Laden’s death,  I was horrified at their gloating and their approval of the torture used over the years to discover Bin Laden’s where abouts.   They praised Bush for allowing this and the phrase “The means justifies the end” was used repeatedly. 

 In world war two even the Nazi generals were given its protection at the Nuremberg trials,  given legal representation and afforded every human right that they were entitled to.   Even Hitler had he lived would have been treated the same.

What are the consequences of this new justice at the end of a gun?   Well every third bit country will now see assassination of its neighbour’s leaders fair game.   It is now open season on every tin pot dictator, every leader of every regime we may disagree with. The question is “Who decides”? and “Who polices the police”?   For instance is Mugabee of Zambia not a prime candidate?   Has he not ruined a fine country and killed many millions of his own subjects?   What has been most tragically lost here is the moral high ground, it will take generations to retrieve it, if ever.

 America is using its undeniable power to create a world that it approves of, and who can stop them?   Perhaps they will not stop until there is a McDonalds on every street corner of every country in the world.   So it seems to me, Bin Laden’s execution without trial has returned America to the days of a good old lynching and its fine history of Justice has been flushed down the pan.   This would seem to me to mean the terrorists have scored a major victory and the world is a far more dangerous place.   So much for Bush’s war on ”Turr” to make the world a safer place.

Consider the alternatives; (a) Bin Laden was never captured, ok so he would have spent the rest of his pathetic life in hiding, never knowing when he might be captured. Or (b)  He was captured and given a public trial for war crimes and presumably executed.   Both these scenarios would leave America and the west in a position of moral authority and show the rest of the world that we are not prepared to prostitute our principles whatever the provocation from twisted and sick individuals.   But I for one do not wish to see a world policed by Uncle Sam simply because he has the biggest gun.

 Dr Fogg ©2011

Bungle News On Transport

In Foggy's articles on February 22, 2011 at 12:23 pm

 

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Tuesday 22nd February 2011 Price £1.50

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Lucky Commuters catch a bus home from work.

Years of neglect by the last Labour government have reduced Britains transport infrastructure to that of a third world country. Some areas are down to just one bus due to budget cuts.
Apparently a solution has been found in the form of a revolutionary new bus. We proudly present the new….

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Sextubus

Yes a bus with six floors capable of carrying up to 200 passengers. This it is believed will reduce by a percentage of erm a lot, the number of buses required by London transport to carry out its duties. Heralded as the tallest bus in the world and standing 65 feet tall. Needless to say it has to use routes that do not have any bridges on them.

Pavements covered in doggy doo.

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Angry minister steps in.

Norman Gumby the new minister of transport said yesterday “ People are fed up of constanly treading in Doggy Doo. We intend to set up an inquiry which will lead to the production of a white paper. These can be used to clean the doggy doo from peoples shoes.

Motorway Madness.

In prime ministers question time today Mp for Lower Piddle Mr. B A R Kingmad asked David Cameron what exactly does he intend to do to improve our ageing motorway sytem. He specifically mentioned the main circular route around London know as the M 25. This excuse for a road is a blot on our nations self respect

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The M 25 showing the services (Alf’s Café) in the distance.

Mr. David Cameron did not respond to the question as he was playing risk with the honourable gentleman for Futtocks end.

(From our Dublin correspondent)

Ireland To Launch its way out of Reccesion.

Whilst on the subject of Transport the Irish Prime minister Mr. Ivor Hadonetoomany announce that Ireland was to begin its own space program in the form of a manned mission to the sun.
Honourable members of the Irish parliament laughed and stamped their feet in derision, shouting “To be sure it’ll burn to a frazzle” But the prime minister advised them that their scientists had brilliantly avoided that possibility by scheduling the craft to land at night.

Range Rover develop ECO engine

Range Rover announced today that they have developed an ECO friendly engine that uses minimal fuel and release little co2 into the atmosphere. In fac t it runs on lettuce! Yes you read it right, ordinary salad lettuce.
The secret is Hamsters, A typical engine can have up to 200 hamsters each one in its own individual wheel. The driver presses the accelerator and each hamster is offered a small lettuce leaf, but, and this is the clever bit. The lettuce is just out of reach so the hamster is forced to walk forwad and thus turn the wheel. The torque from each wheel is channeled into a standard automatic transmission unit. Range Rover have also developed a racing version which involves using lettuce pre soaked in Whoosh laxative.

Dr.Fogg

A Burning Issue

In Foggy's articles on February 21, 2011 at 11:57 pm

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Monday 21st February 2011

Price 85p (Ono)

A Burning Issue.

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Crematorium.

Redditch, Worcestershire, England. Local councillors at Redditch council voted this week to accept a rather unusual energy saving scheme. They are to use the surplus heat from their local crematorium to heat the adjacent Abbey swimming pool. The council claim this will reduce the heating bill for the pool by 30% and makes use of heat which can reach 800 degrees c, which would otherwise be wasted to the atmosphere.

[image] Council leader Carole Gandy: ‘It will make
absolutely no difference to the
people using the crematorium’

Local undertaker Simon Thomas, of Thomas Brothers Funeral Directors, said: “I don’t know how comfortable people would feel about the swimming pool being heated due to the death of a loved one”.

The council also received many E-Mails and letters from concerned members of the public. Many described the whole scheme as being “sick” and some people saying they would not feel comfortable in using this pool ever again. But councillor Gandy stated “This is common practise in many European countries, Germany and Sweden for instance”.
It is true that Germany made huge advances in cremation techniques in the 1940’s

The Bungle News Team fully endorse this forward looking scheme and in fact think the council have not fully considered all the benefits that may accrue. For instance grieving relatives might choose to forgo the tradition post funeral wake, for a dip in a pool heated by their own granny. What a lovely way to feel just that bit closer.

Pool officials could have a sign attributing the days heat to specific individuals.

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Local newspapers could advise pool users of the times the pool will be heated with the obituary notices in the paper.
“Tragic rail accident, twenty dead, pool heated next Tuesday.

Or

Fat Jim pops his socks, extra warm pool next Friday.

We must all remember that it is these kinds of innovative schemes that will help us to give global warming a “Bloody nose”

Dr Fogg (For Bungle News) ©2011

Britain Has Become a “Nanny State”

In Foggy's articles on October 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm

 

The last government headed by Tony Blair seemed obsessed with protecting people from themselves.  It reached a point where people considered we were living in a “Nanny State”. Along side this a compensation culture has developed where organisations such as schools and hospitals live in fear of being taken to court because they failed to provide a “Duty of care”. The lawyers are having a field day, nightly our televisions are bombarded with advertisements offering to get people compensation for work related accidents or mistakes made by professionals in their line of work.

The adverts go like this, “I was given the wrong type of ladder and it slipped, causing me to fall and injure my arm. Lawyers for us got me £10,000 compensation on a no win no fee basis.”  In my opinion if the guy was given the wrong ladder he shouldn’t have climbed up it Duhhhhhhhhh.

Every one is running scared of being held liable for even the most trivial accident or mistake.

But maybe there is hope for common sense yet. The new coalition government has announced its intention to” roll back the Nanny State”

Speaking to the Daily Mail ahead of a speech to Tory conference in Birmingham, Lord Young said he had uncovered extraordinary examples, including a restaurant that would not give out toothpicks for fear of injury, a head teacher who told pupils not to walk under a conker tree without helmets and a council that banned a pancake race because it was raining.

 

Danger!!!! Wear your helmet.

. This presumably is to avoid the school being prosecuted for failing to stop the conkers (horse chestnuts) from falling! A bit like king Canute trying to stop the tide coming in.

It was reported in by the BBC today that a north Yorkshire school in Selby has banned children from their playground because of complaints from local residents about the noise!  The school has apparently spent a fortune on sound proof fencing but still fears prosecution under the noise abatement act.

It must be pointed out that the school has been there for many years, long before the complaining residents, one wonders why they purchased a property next to a school in the first place? For me there is no finer sound in the world than children playing.

 Another horrible little snippet that came my way was the poor woman Mrs Mary Wilkins, who had her car stolen. The car was her pride and Joy and she had saved long and hard to purchase it. One day she came out of her house to find it gone.  A month later it was found and the thief was imprisoned. But that is not the end of the story because whilst in the thief’s grubby little hands it developed a gear box problem, he fitted a reconditioned gear box. So at least the lady got a new gear box out of the tragedy, or so you would think. This nasty little toe rag who caused Mary such pain and anguish actually took her to court from his prison cell, demanding his gear box back! The judge ruled in his favour and Mary was ordered to either pay for or return the gear box. In his summing up the Judge explained to sobbing Mary that unfortunately  the law took no account of the previous theft and that clearly the gear box was the villain’s property.

In the field of medicine we have reached a point where surgeons are reluctant to perform certain risky but life saving surgery in case they are unsuccessful and leave themselves open to prosecution. Mind you I expect it won’t be long before someone sues a surgeon for not performing that operation.

So it seems we are gradually going the way of America with lawyers and criminals alike trying to screw every penny out of us. It is to be hoped that this new government of ours is serious about rolling back the “Nanny State” I might even be able to sit in the pub with my beer and light up a cigarette again, or drive without my seat belt should I choose. The point is that life is full of risk and it is up to the individual to decide which risks they choose to take.

Dr Fogg