Dr. Fogg & Sir Daniel presents..

Bungle News On Transport

In Foggy's articles on February 22, 2011 at 12:23 pm

 

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Tuesday 22nd February 2011 Price £1.50

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Lucky Commuters catch a bus home from work.

Years of neglect by the last Labour government have reduced Britains transport infrastructure to that of a third world country. Some areas are down to just one bus due to budget cuts.
Apparently a solution has been found in the form of a revolutionary new bus. We proudly present the new….

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Sextubus

Yes a bus with six floors capable of carrying up to 200 passengers. This it is believed will reduce by a percentage of erm a lot, the number of buses required by London transport to carry out its duties. Heralded as the tallest bus in the world and standing 65 feet tall. Needless to say it has to use routes that do not have any bridges on them.

Pavements covered in doggy doo.

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Angry minister steps in.

Norman Gumby the new minister of transport said yesterday “ People are fed up of constanly treading in Doggy Doo. We intend to set up an inquiry which will lead to the production of a white paper. These can be used to clean the doggy doo from peoples shoes.

Motorway Madness.

In prime ministers question time today Mp for Lower Piddle Mr. B A R Kingmad asked David Cameron what exactly does he intend to do to improve our ageing motorway sytem. He specifically mentioned the main circular route around London know as the M 25. This excuse for a road is a blot on our nations self respect

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The M 25 showing the services (Alf’s Café) in the distance.

Mr. David Cameron did not respond to the question as he was playing risk with the honourable gentleman for Futtocks end.

(From our Dublin correspondent)

Ireland To Launch its way out of Reccesion.

Whilst on the subject of Transport the Irish Prime minister Mr. Ivor Hadonetoomany announce that Ireland was to begin its own space program in the form of a manned mission to the sun.
Honourable members of the Irish parliament laughed and stamped their feet in derision, shouting “To be sure it’ll burn to a frazzle” But the prime minister advised them that their scientists had brilliantly avoided that possibility by scheduling the craft to land at night.

Range Rover develop ECO engine

Range Rover announced today that they have developed an ECO friendly engine that uses minimal fuel and release little co2 into the atmosphere. In fac t it runs on lettuce! Yes you read it right, ordinary salad lettuce.
The secret is Hamsters, A typical engine can have up to 200 hamsters each one in its own individual wheel. The driver presses the accelerator and each hamster is offered a small lettuce leaf, but, and this is the clever bit. The lettuce is just out of reach so the hamster is forced to walk forwad and thus turn the wheel. The torque from each wheel is channeled into a standard automatic transmission unit. Range Rover have also developed a racing version which involves using lettuce pre soaked in Whoosh laxative.

Dr.Fogg

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  1. Your too funny my friend, if I were a voter in the UK, I would try to get you elected to the office of Prime Minister (which I assume has a decent pay?) and if nothing else, I’m sure the world would find peace and joy thru laughter.

    much enjoyed!

    ~ Daniel

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