Dr. Fogg & Sir Daniel presents..

The Florida Triangle

In Daniels articles on August 16, 2010 at 1:19 am

Triangles..  we all know what an isosceles triangle is?  it’s when two sides are the same length.   We all know that a lovers triangle involves three people..  Everyone has heard of the Bermuda Triangle where from 1950 planes and ships have just simply disappeared off the face of the planet..

Todays blog is about another triangle..  Locally we call it “The Florida Triangle” and it stretches from Jacksonville, to Tampa, down to Miami..  Unlike the Bermuda Triangle, the Florida triangle doesn’t effect planes or ships but instead people..

I happen to live right in the center of this weird paranormal phenomenon.  Case in point this is my third attempt to write this article yet for some strange reason the first time my computer froze up and the second time the electricity quit..  But I’m going to ignore those greater forces that don’t want this story to be in print because it’s important everyone understands why there are so many crazy people here in Florida..

meet Raymond Lewis Shepard..

Raymond has been a bit down on his luck lately so he and a friend decide they need to steal a car so they can sell it and get some quick cash.   Raymond has a gun and the right attitude to do the job..  All he needs is a victim..

This is where 69 year old Carol J. Costello enters Raymond’s life..  Carol just finished shopping at my neighbored Walmart and was backing her car out of the parking space when suddenly a black Chevrolet Impala pulled in front and forced her to stop.   Carol watched as Raymond got out the passenger side door and walked over to her window.   Carol couldn’t help but notice that Raymond had a gun in his hand that was halfway covered with a towel..

Raymond wanted Carol to roll down the window but Carol didn’t want too..  So Raymond decides to do the next best thing, he tries to break it with his gun but the darn window just doesn’t want to smash..  This is when the Florida Triangle hits Raymond full force..  He decides to climb onto of Carol’s hood and starts jumping up and down.  Carol then watches as Raymond takes his gun and swings it full force against her front window.   Lucky for Raymond that window breaks.. however unlucky for Raymond when it does, his gun goes flying out of his hand and lands in Carol’s lap.

Raymond may be a bit frustrated, but even he can see that his car-jacking attempt is in serious trouble and it just might be time to give up and get the heck out of there before Carol uses his gun on him.   So he climbs back off Carol’s car and he makes a break for his own car..  However Carol puts her car in reverse and backs right into Raymond’s car, doing a bit of body damage.   She is also clever enough to copy their license tag as they flee the parking lot.

At this point, had Raymond wanted to call his buddies in the hood for help, he would have discovered his cell phone was also in Carol’s car along with his gun as it flew into the car when her window broke.  Lucky for Carol, Raymond had just taken a couple pictures of himself on his phone so he was pretty easy to identify and all the police had to do was call the phone number marked “home”.

If he hadn’t died back in 1999, Raymond could have asked a drifter named Daniel about the Florida triangle as he was being booked at the city jail..  Daniel knew alot about the triangle as his last moments on life were reflecting how he chose such a stupid way to die..  

Daniels story started when he went to Miami and joined a Hare Krishna temple.   He had a great love of nature, writing in his journal and feeding wild birds in the temple garden.  The problem began when Daniel had difficulty adjusting to the religion’s 4AM wake-up time, their dietary prohibitions, and their abstinence from liquor, drugs, sex, and gambling. He preferred to dodge work and meditate in the chapel listening to heavy metal music.

Suddenly, Daniel announced to his fellow Hare Krishna brothers he was going to take a vow of silence.. which was odd considering it was not part of their religion but they accepted it and life went on till summer came when Daniel decided he wanted to explore Florida a bit more.

Somewhere along his travels, Daniel got caught stealing a candy bar and was arrested.   Instead of pleading his case, Daniel stuck by his vow of silence.  After serving a couple days in jail, Daniel wound up in Orlando where he decided he wanted to spend the night swimming with killer whales.  This is when he was fully under the effect of the Florida Triangle.   So Daniel hid till after closing time, climbed over a wall and slipped off his clothes and snuck into the large tank with the whales..

needless to say things didn’t go so great for him..  In the morning his nude body was spotted on the whales dorsal fin by a SeaWorld employee..   It would seem to me that swimming with that large of fish might be a bad idea but what do I know?

Speaking of large fish.. down near Miami a man was fishing in the water off Riviera Beach when a 6-foot spinner shark took the bait. The man swam farther in the water to cut loose the shark, but that turned out to be a very bad idea.

“I’m looking at him and I’m thinking, ‘Geez, I wouldn’t do that,'”one witness told WPTV.  However it was too late, the victim was under the influence of the Florida Triangle.   As a result, he grabbed the shark with both hands as he was trying to get the hook out. Bad idea No. 2.

The thrashing shark, none to happy with his predicament, spun and bit the fisherman on his lower leg after it was freed.  According to a witness on scene, he had about six puncture marks on him.  So as you see, there is a perfectly good explanation for all the crazy people here in Florida.  We can’t help it (did I just include myself?).. 

Let me conclude by introducing you to Melanese Asia Reid and Katrina Mari-Alyce Bryant..

they happened to be hungry and went through the drive-thru at my local Wendy’s restaurant a couple months ago.  Perhaps not the best place to eat but much better than McDonalds..  Anyway, it seems they were under the impression that the restaurant would get their order right the first time and when they found out it wasn’t, Melanese got into a verbal argument with the manager right there in her car.  She tried to slap him but the reach was just beyond her so instead she parked her car and her and her friend went inside the store.

As they were walking up to the store, The Florida Triangle had done it’s damage and Melanese remembered that she had a pink taser-gun in her purse.  She then proceeded to chase the manager, Jason, around the restaurant with her taser gun in front of all their customers..  Once Jason made it clear he was calling the police, the girls decided it was time to do without lunch and left in their car. 

The Police did not have to worry about finding the girls because as it turned out the girls called the Police first wanting to file a complaint against the restaurant.  Honest, you can’t make this stuff up..  It seems they forgot about the many witnesses and the video surveillance cameras on site..

So now you know..  If I happen to one day flip out and run for congress or wrestle an alligator.. it’s because of the Florida Triangle..

~ Daniel

  1. Daniel honey, now I know what you were hiding from me all this time! LMBO!!!

  2. Sometimes i think the whole of Britain is a paranormal phenomawhatsit but of late it seems particularly active over the area of my home. ok every thing is big in America and here in Lil ole England we tend to be on a smaller scale. In your triangles, it is planes and people that dissapear, here it is my glasses and any hand tools i am using at any particular moment.
    This morning was a case and point, one minute i was wearing my reading glasses, the next they were gone! Now i hadn’t taken my bum off my chair so logic demanded they were within my reach, but no. I searched and searched for half an hour, eventualy I just gave up. Now this is the really scarey part, they suddenly materialised on top of my head! definately one for the X files.

    Dr Fogg

  3. You know, DrFogg, I share with you the same problem…..alien vistation. They must be a far-sighted bunch, for they continue to take my glasses and return them to my head as well. Also, they have put my car keys in the freezer, and my cell phone in the coffee canister. Weird bunch of folks, don’t you think?
    Daniel, this was an excellent piece of reporting. For sure, it makes me understand better, the attraction of the Florida Triangle to the mentally challenged. Drawn like mothes to flames I guess you could say. I thank you, sir, for placing this here for all to read. I look forward to reading more of your work in upcoming weeks. Good luck, and thanks again. wild-alice

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